I’m Married but I Still Love My Ex Boyfriend

I’m a lady of 32yrs and I happen to be in love with my ex boyfriend. The problem is that we are all married but absolutely not happy with our individual spouses.  When dating my ex boyfriend we never engaged in any premarital sex. Our relationship happened to be based on true friendship. We were so much in love with each other. I later travelled and lost contact with my ex boyfriend. We all tried our best to get into contact but to no avail.  After five years we bounced on each other and the love we’ve shared still exist. We have tried to go our separate ways but it’s not working. Please we are in serious dilemma. What should my ex boyfriend and I do. We need some advice.


Hello Dear Worried Wife,

I have a feeling you already know the advice I’ll give you.  Let me break it down for you and everyone who is in love with their ex boyfriend or girlfriend to understand.  You’re 32 years and you travelled five years ago – meaning you travelled at the age of 27 years in the year 2009.  Now I don’t know which part of the planet you travelled to, but with the technology after 2009 it is difficult to loose contact with a boyfriend or a girlfriend for 5 long years.  Non of you is on facebook? You don’t know any of his friends or family on social media or he doesn’t also know any of your contacts?  Did the two of you know each other’s friends or family?

I'm married but still in love with ex boyfriend

I’m married but still in love with ex boyfriend

I believe you when you say that you “tried” to get in contact, but to say you “tried your best” is not entirely true unless one of you was kidnapped or something. I will tell you what happened. You both found new love and thought it was no longer necessary because you’ve found a husband and he has found a wife.  So it appears you’re still in love with your ex boyfriend even though you’re married. How long have you two been married?

Did you say you’re unhappy with both spouses? Like seriously?  And you only realized that you were in unhappy marriages after meeting up with your ex boyfriend? Your husband and your ex boyfriends wife are human beings and they have their flaws.  You wouldn’t have married your husband if there was no love and your ex boyfriend couldn’t have married his wife without love as well.

Let me stop all my love analysis and tell you what to do or probably what not to do.

Do not leave your husband – I can bet my last cent that you’ll regret later. Your ex boyfriend shouldn’t leave his wife neither. If you truly loved each other you would have put in the extra mile to get in touch.

Your ex boyfriend and yourself have tried going your separate ways but it’s not working, right? Wrong! Why does everything you try not working? Stop trying and start doing it! If you want to go your separate ways you can. After all you managed to get away from each other for 5 years so you’ve got experience.  Delete your ex boyfriends contact and stop seeing each other. Stop calling him and avoid places you would most likely meet each other.

So you didn’t make love in your relationship? I hope you’re not making love to each other yet.  That will be adulterous on both part and it will destroy your families.

This is my remedy for you.

  1. You’re fantasying about the good times you had with your ex boyfriend and think marriage would have been like that with him. It might have been worse.  Write down all the things you did not like about your ex guy back then and you would realize he wouldn’t have been any better than your husband. Write down the good things about your husband and you’ll appreciate the man you have.
  2. Spend time apart from each other.  No contact whatsoever. No calling, emailing, texting whatsapp or any medium. You got over each other once so you can do it again.
  3. Stop comparing your spouses to your ex. You should concentrate on your lovely marriages and how to make it work than having dreams of your Cinderella marriage that never was.

Next time you think about being married but still in love with ex, remember your husband has an ex girlfriend too.  Maybe she will appreciate him better.

3 Responses so far.

  1. vanette says:

    Thanks very much for your advice. I really appreciate it.God bless u.

  2. Khurram says:

    I wanta to friend ship.my name is khurram I live in pak .

  3. haamid9 says:

    You could imagine a situation where your husband gives you consent to have your boyfriend, look up “polyamory

About Relationship Counselor

Love Doctor is a very open minded person. Gives true love advice and states it as it is in order for the person to get the message unadulterated.