I want a divorce and already met a new man

I want to separate from my hubby we just don’t get along.  My husband refuses to go with me to places as he thinks its a charade and never seems to want to go anywhere . We have grown apart 18yrs after marriage.  I’m so unhappy we argue, coldness, we don’t sleep together and haven’t been for quite some time. I have cheated on him and I’m so unhappy I took my rings off and he did too. Our personalities don’t match anymore and  I don’t want to be with him.

Recently I met a man who is a bit older and our relationship is so compatible we have chatted gone out and been together.  The problem is my intention is clear to leave my hubby and to separate, but my family disagrees.  My new guy has been separated over 3 1/2 yrs and married for 30 lol.

My new man had no contact with his ex wife and he dated others, but now recently he agreed to terms for a divorce with her. His ex wife turned around and told this new guy they should try to work things out not divorce and always tries to convince him.

She brings up old memories etc to him confusing him further. He cares about her – naturally it’s his ex but he cares about me too.  According to my new man he needs to think and analyse what to do. We are so perfect he knows it too and he’s afraid she will hurt him again too.  They are legally married  whiles i just met him a few months.

Why did she come back lol he wanted to start fresh .  He’s confused and  I’m confused too. He has money thats what she wants, I know she cares nothing about him.

Now i don’t seem to have a chance with him I feel I’m confused up to a few months ago she didn’t want the husband, why now? I dont know her  and have never met only heard about her from him and he has not lied about anything to me. I feel I’m going to lose him to his ex wife, what can i do? Because my hubby and i cannot work anymore…

9 Responses so far.

  1. PRISCY MAWUSE says:

    Eiiii this really serious! But dear how can you just conclude soo fast. Well let me talk about your marriage first, at the first please what happened and you two are just not interested in each other? Haaa well you mean marriage here not a mere relationship. I know for marriage to be sustained then i do believe in five things EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, COMMITMENT, TRUST,SUPPORT AND LOVE. i know most women hate to be committed to their husbands and vise versa,so i want to know which of the above did you miss that is causing all this problem?

    Well this is my advice to you, please forget about that man because he is legally married and claim he wants a divorce because of you, well even if he succeeds that his wife will make you feel very miserable in that relationship.
    Since he want his husband back to her.

    Secondly if you truely want a divorce it should not be based on another man, no nono it does not show a bit of respect , it does not speak well of you my dear. Therefore take your divorce and relax at least give yourself time to turn a new leaf first.

    Then you will make good choice on your own. But it will be nice if you forget the past añd try hard to win the heart of your husband again try it. I bet you if it work out you will leave more happier than ever. My last comment forget your new guy.. Goodbye.

    • hazel says:

      thank you for the reply I have to reply to few things priscy…barely any communication in my marriage,support hardly any when you have to go and do things on you own and love nothing really left its now convenience our relationship broke not the marriage we grew apart as a couple. the new man I met is getting a divorce now and no intention of going back to his wife
      we are not having a sexual relationship we are friends right now as the divorce gets finalized.We chat and we call each other and I have given him time to get through this
      with no scandal or interference. He wants the divorce after being separated for a longtime. his relationship fell apart he never stopped caring for his ex wife like I never stopped caring for my husband the bond will remain but we both want to move onwards in our lives. I am not leaving my husband for this man its what I need to do to see if its worth saving or lasting the term time apart is a good thing.we will separate and if needed divorce if its what has to be done.

  2. j0rdEN says:

    i hate the decision we take in life that makes our lives difficult. Marriage isnt a thing you can do again and again. You are lucky,if you got a guy who loves you. my reply is of course, you can divorce your old husband now.

    Set him free and go live your life with your new soulmate 🙂

    • hazel says:

      hello jorden a marriage relationship is like a foundation if its weak it will always be and the fear of crumbling down will always remain. I have found a great guy but we are taking it slow and want to do it right. My new guy is getting a divorce maybe we will get to know each other to see if we have something that will last.He and I have been very honest with each other.is my soulmate I will find out if he is not then I will continue searching. I want to be happy. thank you for your comment

  3. !Pain Killer says:

    yes of course if u find a guy who love n if u think that u can go long with him and u will be happy then go for him

    • hazel says:

      yes I will go for him and try to get to know him better to see if we are compatible its so important to me. he is in the process of a div and does want to move onwards.

  4. Love Dr. says:

    It’s a sad situation you find yourself. Anytime I hear a marriage breaking down, it breaks my heart. But I don’t have much sympathy on you because you’ve gone in for another man before your divorce. That’s called infidelity my dear. You should have broken up first. To make things worse you went in for a man who is legally married married too – that’s adultery.

    You see your husband isn’t that bad afterall compared to you. Whether the ex wife (it’s actually wife) is in for his money is a secondary issue.

    Try doing the things that made you have a happy relationship. Go out to new places, buy each other small gifts, give compliments and all those little things. See if it works. Unless it is an abusive marriage, things can be improved. And lastly, stop cheating.

    • hazel says:

      Dr love,

      its a sad situation when a relationship fails to be happy and be loved is very important to me. My new man we are friends and yes I went out with him we are very compatible in every way.He has filed for the divorce and wants to move on now and like me I am going to ask my hubby for a separation its important I have told my kids and family now its just him to tell. I have cheated but its not what I want to continue to do that is cheat… I want to be with one man who is compatible with me and I can see longterm with. I am not rushing into a new relationship after but I will see this other man and see if what we have is something good and longterm.cheating is not my plan ….. my husband does nothing for me and cares little for things I love and I go places alone or with my kids is this a marriage no he is not trying and does not love me our relationship failed not the marriage
      can it be saved …..no! I want to move on..my new guy is in the works of a divorce he signed it waiting for her to now….I will ask my hubby for a separation I want to do this right.thank you….

  5. farhad says:

    hi, i’m single and 30years old, i’d like to marry with old woman from canada.

About Relationship Counselor

Love Doctor is a very open minded person. Gives true love advice and states it as it is in order for the person to get the message unadulterated.