My Husband No Longer Wants Intimacy

I really need someone to share my marriage problem with. Our marriage was an arranged marriage and our 3rd wedding anniversary is in November. My husband and I live in a gulf country, but our native place is India.  From the beginning of our relationship, my husband told me about his ex girlfriend who was a married woman and he wanted to marry her. The reason for their break up was that she got pregnant from her own husband.

I asked him why he chose a married woman and he replied that they were colleagues and her husband is not a good man. So they were friends and it slowly changed to love. My husband promised me that he will not contact her anymore and I trusted him.  Before our marriage I ask him  “do you love me that much as  you love her?”, but he didn’t answer.  After marriage I accidentally saw a message on his phone and it was a message he sent to her. The message on his phone was “Sumiya is asking such a question and I didn’t answer her”

This message he sent to his ex girlfriend hurt me badly.  I asked him about this and he was very cool and said “I am going to get married soon meanwhile that girl is still in trouble. I tried to console her by sending that message” – I believed it. Then after we lived happily and I got pregnant and returned to India to deliver. I returned back when our baby was 8 months and I found another surprise. This time I happened to see my husbands chat with another girl in his office. From his chat I saw that he intended to chat with her sexually but she was not interested.  I asked him about it and this time also he nicely handled it with ease.

I couldn’t make it a big case out of it because i am afraid of losing him. I love him that much and  can’t end up a day without his hugs and kisses. Yesterday he told me that he chatted with someone in an internet chatting room. I’ve told him not to chat with people he doesn’t know.  Now am afraid of his character because one innocent chat turned into intimate chat. He replied that I don’t trust him so he is not going to tell me anything anymore. I am hurt by his words. I don’t know what to do.  He always say sweet words to me, but he has not showing any interest in getting intimate with me. He is interested in bad movies and he sometimes masterbates. I’m really hurt by this and need some online marriage counseling. Is it my fault? Please be frank with me.

4 Responses so far.

  1. PRISCY MAWUSE says:

    Hi lovely it may be your fault too. Do you realy have time for you husband? If no, thrn is neccesary to, do you give him want he want as a married woman? If no then start to. U are to make your husband a happy man ok. Please sit down and check out things that you think are not in place, like is your communication poor, do you always make yourself available to him, do you pay much attention to other things than him, a whole lot you need to know. Morever if you always want to create a doubtful mind about him then you will oneday end up losing him. Whatever he tells you just keep it cool in your heart my dear , it not all men that will be bold and brave to tell you what they go out to do,infurtherance to, his calm with you always then you are a lucky lady, because others will not even open up in that calm manner ok. Take one night and talk to you husband. Make him feel what you also feel yes, tell him your feelings about how he go out chatting with ladies and the rest, make him know you realy love him and donot want to lose him, therefore you always hurt when you see things go the way it not supposed to go. But why should he masterbate ? Are you not a wife? Or you don’ t satisfy him well , ? Aah no it bad tell him is against the holy scriptures. He married you for many reasons and sexaul satisfactions is one of the greatest reasons, therefore you need to help your husband out of that situation my dear. I will advice you to try hard enough to always be with him in terms if watching his ponographic films and the rest, be your husbands watch dog when his home to prevent him from masterbating. Finaly if you can then try this, you can ask him to go out with you for a walk, whenever he said his going to chat, you can insist to join him, always try to make him feel your presence for some time. Yes with that i guess he will realize how you love him. Dont forget make sure you do everything you can as a lover to save your husband from that act. Wish you the. Best.

  2. Emmanuel says:

    All i will say is ur husband has a strong sexual desire. find a way to satisfy her sexually, i mean make it a point to always satisfy him. This will keep his mind of bad movies and masturbation or whatever that turns to distract her…try this and u will keep your man forever.

  3. Chantelle Iris says:

    helloo….,let me start by saying your husband may not necessarily be blamed for everything the first place you guys getting married was an arranged one right? hence there was no form of natural bond or love formed between both of you…,and to a greater extent,you guys didn’t get to go through the courting stages so as to know each other more and better. but as time went on you guys got settled on the idea that you were now married what am trying to say here is that,your husband was living his own life the way he wanted it before your families married you both. he might still not be used to you even as you are nearing your third year of marriage.

    patience is what you need my dear.I’ll advice that you sit your husband down on a one on one.bear out your feelings to him and make him know how much you love him and want this relationship to work out.Try developing some trust for him even if you suspect him,give him the benefit of the doubt my dear.if you keep on complaining and confronting him,you might end up driving him away to the other women.

    Also,never you deny your husband from sexual his wife,you ought to satisfy his urge and be there for him whenever he wants to have sex…even if he does not want to get intimate,girlfriend,use your feminine powers and get him to want and desire you like the other ladies out there.

    wish you all the best in your marriage!!!

  4. Peter says:

    Has there been any big change in your looks? Since the baby is 8 months try. And workout to gain back your looks if you’ve really changed. Men will always be men.

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