My Girlfriend Wants no Form of Intimacy

I’ve been dating this girl for almost 13 months. She beautiful and lovely.  We never hug each other, kiss, hangout or spend time together. Not that we agreed on this in the relationship but she said she is not interested in doing anything intimate.

I thought my girlfriend was just joking but not knowing she was serious. Anytime I try to call her she is like she is busy so as time goes she called me one day and she told me she missed me so much.  Because of she missing me I went to her place to pay her a visit. I saw her coming towards me and I hugged her.  This made her annoyed and from that time whenever I pay her a visit she will offer me a seat but will never talk.  My girlfriend will remain silent until I leave. My girlfriend has been behaving strange these days. I have never been with any other lady apart from her. I have never made love with any lady in my life before. I don’t even know what to do again that will make her happy. I am sick and tired of her will and will like to know if it will be a good idea if I break up the relationship?

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10 Responses so far.

  1. Chantelle Iris says:

    my dear, you have to take it easy on this one OK. your girlfriend not wanting to be intimate with you might probably be because that’s the way she usually wants her relationship to be like and would avoid getting intimate for other reasons known to her. you should try communicating with her and try finding out why she refuses to do this. you can’t judge or criticize her decision not to have intimacy with you. and besides, you two can have a normal relationship without having to get intimate anyways…,there are so many partners practicing that these days and i think its even good for the relationship. it strengthens it and does not build the love you two have for each other on mere physical or sexual attraction.

    Talk to your girl, and try reasoning with her on this one. when the time comes for you two to get to those intimate stages, you’ll definitely get there.do not pressurize her or use this against her. if you love her, you’ll wait for that perfect moment to bond with her physically. you are even a virgin, judging from what you wrote, so why the rush if you’ve never done it before? exercise patience and she’ll eventually come around.

  2. sumth1ng says:

    Hi Mr Sender,
    Actually the way I see it, best thing to do is for you to talk to her abt this as this is a bit bothersome. Even family relationships or friendships requires some ways of showing affection like a hug or kiss. Yours is love relationship and you’ve been together for 13 months. Wow, lemme congratulate you for having the control as most men wont be able to do that. Speak to her abt how you feel. Love relationships requires intimacy at times, not that intimate as I may say like simple holding of hands, cuddling, or kissing in hand/forehead. In cases like this, she may have been brought up by a very conservative family so that can be a factor but isn’t it too much? Ur not gonna go all the way right? Its just hug and hug is something that a person does to his loved ones.
    Have her thoughts of how you feel, make a compromise, set some limitations on intimacy and if still both wont come up with a good solution, I guess its time to end the relationship as it may seem she doesn’t love u and Is no interested at you. getting hugged especially by the one you love raises a good feeling , feeling of comfort and peace to that person and if she doesn’t wanna be hugged, theres something wrong abt her.

  3. mamagee says:

    my dear hmm… i think a harmless kiss or hug for someone you claim to love is not a big deal.maybe she has reason for her reservation.you have compromise for this long so why complain now.all the same talk to her on how you feel. you can set some limitation on the level of intimacy at least a hug or hung-outs will be okay.if she does not come into terms with this then i think she does not love you as you may think.it is better you get out from the relationship you feel unhappy.

  4. PRISCY MAWUSE says:

    Hmm my dear am sure she have a reason about her idea on that, but giving your guy a hug i think wont cause anger just like that. Well i think the best thing to do is you open up to her your true personality i guess she might be in a suspense about you,morever talk to her before she looses you or you loose her. But in all respect her feelings too. Hahaha i realy guess this she might be a type of lady who cannot control her feelings when it comes to kisses and hugs ok so please just take it easy with her. Wish u the best.

  5. shubbee says:

    hi mr sender

    im happy that u have been respecting her all these time but i would also suggest that you speak to her about your thoughts on this matter. intimacy is a part of each relationship and a simple kiss and hug is not a big deal unless its too intimate na. both of u should talk about this. if you are no longer happy and she is not also happy,i guess you both should take a break, cool off and think things out. eventually you will get back together if you both really love each other and are ready to come up with a solution.

  6. genesis markus says:

    Wow,i think something is going wrong somewhere. Or is she hidding something to u.i guess she hate u .

  7. Pocoloco says:

    The way you tell the story, it seems to me that there is a great deal of imbalance in this relationship. You call, she is busy. She calls, you run to rescue her. You want a hug, she offers you a seat. You get the message? For some reason she can make you do anything and you seem pretty obedient. I guess you are in love with her but I doubt that she feels the same for you.

    You have been dating for 13 months, and I think it’s fair to say that you are unhappy, but afraid to lose her.

    You can not force her feelings for you. Tell her how you feel, and if she really loves you, she will listen to you. If not, don’t make yourself unhappy for the next 13 years.

  8. Pocoloco says:

    Mrs Chantelle, I don’t agree. If both partners are perfecly happy in a relation without or very little intimacy, so be it. But this case is very different. Yo can’t just swallow everything for the rest of your life (unless your destiny is to be a martyr or a saint)

  9. Emmanuel says:

    When a woman feels a man is pursuing her simply for sex,she immediately perceives all he does as dishonest and manipulative(even if he’s being genuine). Don’t rush, you are dating a good girl. Note- your girl is an investor, Denier, idealist. She daydreams about the perfect man coming into her life, she will escapades and has long term hopes with the man she gets involved with.For your girl the potential of a long term relationship is the foundation upon which everything else lays.You must go deeper and hit her at her core to satisfy her emotional needs. Guys often run into trouble with this type of girls by coming off as insincere or “player-ish”. Once you get needy and appear submissive and weak, she will lose attraction and motivation to even give any of those long term hopes a chance.Talking about doing things together in the future is the best to motivate her to get to know you. She is an investor always remember.In order to sweep her off her feet,you must incorporate a good amount of touch you must protect and lead her. Use a lot of protective touching move her out of the way, pick a lint off her shirt, hold her hand when crossing the street.

    • Pocoloco says:

      Sounds like a lot of investment. The guy who wants to satisfy such a girl must be an idealist and live in denial… Better be alone than in company of someone who sets the bar so high that you may break your neck if you fall and no one cares to catch you.


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