My Husband Has Changed

I recently noticed that my husband has changed totally. He doesn’t even care what happens to his wife (me). He complains about everything when it has to do with providing for the home. Yet he has been going for lunch date with other people (saw receipts in his pocket). My husband and I have have two adorable girls aged 4 & 3 and have been married for 5 years.

My husband and I never had marriage counseling before we got married because he was against it and now am regretting not doing that. Recently I noticed that he talks ill about me to another woman who is supposed to be his business partner. It wasn’t the first time but several times. He talks ill about me to his brother, father and he does not respect my mum. He discuses our home issues with his business partner and even our house help. I saw all this through his chats with his business partner.

I needed to know why my husband has changed so I him several times what was wrong with him and he said nothing. I even asked him if he trusts me and he told me that he won’t answer me on that. I did this for several times and yet my husband was not able to tell me if he trusts me and what was bothering him. I feel he is regretting marrying me and because of the kids I don’t know if i should divorce him. For over two years now he told me that he can’t take care of me so I should take care of myself and yet he expects me to take care of things in the house as well. Meanwhile he doesn’t support me in anything. I depend solely on my salary, having to take care of my mum, brother and sister because my dad is no more and am the first child.

My mum lost her job because she decided to take care of me when I gave birth to my first child. He prefers to spend on his brother who is working than to spend on us. He discussed with his business partner how much he should give me for food in the house monthly meanwhile I already told him the amount of money that will be enough for that. He doesn’t want me to have any thing when it comes to his money yet with my little salary I still manage to buy him things when I see one. What should i do?

4 Responses so far.

  1. Chantelle Iris says:

    wow!! this is a sad story. i often wonder why some men treat their wives this way. it’s really not dear, its obvious that you guys not taking counseling before tying the knot is affecting the marriage. being married for five solid years,with two wonderful kids and your husband is behaving this way towards you only means one thing my dear, hes probably not into the marriage anymore. it can be that he has lost interest in the marriage but maybe too there’s something you are not doing right in the marriage that has led him to that point. my advice to you will be to search yourself truthfully and find out if there anything you suppose to be doing that you are not doing as a wife. following this, try contacting some relatives who can intervene on your behalf and try asking your husband why the change in attitude towards you.

    Divorcing him without getting to know why he has changed towards you will not help in any way.try solving the issue between you two before if you think walking out is the best option, you take it. I wish you all the best of luck in resolving your marriage.

  2. mamagee says:

    my dear i do sympathize with what you are going through.taking this responsibility alone is no joke my dear.i could notice that you not participating in counseling has affected your marriage badly.please crave the indulgence of someone he respect and listens to,to channel how hurt you feel about his negligence towards you and his children,hope he changes his behavior and act responsibly as a husband and a father.also think through your thought and see where you have gone wrong and make the necessary adjustment ,wish you happy marriage.

  3. PRISCY MAWUSE says:

    I realy feel sad when i hear married men discuss family issues with their bussiness partners aah to me it does not show any resperct and it even tanishes the image of his family,but i know they donot realize it. Ignorance i guess is their problem. I think you should see a marrige counsellor please try and let him see the counsellor as well. Divorce wont solve your problem now ,and for the sake of your lovely daughters. Realy sorry to hear you are playing the role of a breadwinner ,,hummm too much for a for u dear but i will advice you to be strong donot give up God will see you through. Keep praying for him. Wish u well.

  4. Pocoloco says:

    First question to answer, what are your feelings for him?

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