Healing After an Affair

My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We have been married for almost 12 years. I had an affair. I told my husband about it and came clean. He requested phone records and text message records, which I gave him. He wants to contact the other man. I have not had any contact with the other man 5 months. The other man has since moved and I do not know his location. My husband wants to work on the marriage, but has so much anger and this is not surprising for a husband who is healing after an affair.

My husband does not text I love you or I miss you to me. He does do little things like cook and get me little gifts. We do go out and have tons of fun together. I text him and let him know everything I am doing and everywhere I am going.  I always send my husband messages telling him I love him and miss him and that I am thankful for him, etc. I now feel a wife cannot do enough in helping a husband with healing after an affair she caused and that what I am doing is too much. My husband states that he cannot stop thinking about me and the other man having had an affair.  I know that this is hard on my husband, and that he didnt deserve this.

How can I help heal our marriage and help us become stronger than ever. How can I help my husband with healing after an affair? We do attend marriage counseling together also. We have been going for 7 weeks.

Love Doctors Advice on Healing After An Affair

Dear Worried Wife,

I’m afraid there’s nothing much you can do in addition to what you’re already doing. Healing after an affair has happened takes time so all you could do is to be a good wife and with time your husband will heal.  The fact that he’s still in the marriage shows he’s ready to work things out.

Most men (including myself) would have left the marriage. You’ve got a good caring husband and big ups to him for taking up the counseling with you.  You have to search deep down and find out the cause of the affair itself and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I wish your husband could read our article on why women cheat. We’ve outlined six reasons likely for women to have an affair. Make sure these six things aren’t happening.

All the best!

One Response so far.

  1. Bright Bethwel says:

    There isn’t much you can do other than this. Continue with the love and care you are showing him. It will take time but he will overcome it. And its good you two are going for counselling. Little by little, he will learn to overcome it. Don’t get worried about the fact that he doesn’t text you i love you and all that. Be grateful he has forgiven you and he is still with you and still shows you love and care most of the time.
    Give him time. He will come off it.

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