I Don’t Find Girlfriend Attractive

Hi, I am 36 years old with 2 girls (6 and 12 years old). I just started dating a 31 year old girl with no kids, but she is wonderful with my kids, and she is one of the best, kindest people that I know. She comes from a great family, and they are very supportive, and kind too.

The problem that I am REALLY struggling with, is that she is pretty and attractive, but I usually date prettier women that I am more intimately attracted to. Not to say there is no attraction, just much less. I hate that I am feeling this way, and I really don’t want to come off as shallow, but it is something that I’ve tried to ignore but it doesn’t go away.

That being said, I’ve had many long term “passionate” relationships that end up not working out because in the end we just have different morals or ideas of what we want from life. Whereas with this girl, we are very much on the same page with what we want from life, and we also have the same faith and its important to both of us. Please help!

I don’t want to feel down the road that I made the wrong choice and based the breakup on the fact that there is not as much “intimate passion” as I am used to, and honestly, this could be one of the more healthy relationships I’ve ever been in, minus that intense attraction that I miss so much.

Love Advice on I Don’t Find Girlfriend Attractive

Well, intimacy is very important in marriage, so if you’re not really attracted to her then don’t go ahead and marry her just to divorce in the end. From your message your girlfriend comes across as a good person who would have made a great wife. Most single girls might even be skeptical marrying a man with two children.

If you marry this girl, you’ll cheat on her for sure. At the end it’s not the lack of passion that will break the marriage, but the hurt feeling of she being cheated on severally. I foresee an unhappy marriage. This girl deserves to be treated well by her husband and the first step is for you to leave so the right husband can come.

One thing you should also know is that women drive for intimacy decreases with age.  With your kind of drive am sure you’ll be “very active” late into your 70’s. Imaging having a wife who’s 65 by then. You’ll most definitely cheat my friend.  Another advice is that (looking at how active you are) you should wait until you’re 45 years and find someone 15-20 years younger than you to marry. This way your passion will match hers when you’re both aging. Read our article on Questions to ask before marriage .

All the best bro.


2 Responses so far.

  1. Tijani says:

    this is quiet complicated but simple,
    you were attracted to a wrong people so you had to let them go, and now you are not attracted to the right person, so you must try and let her stay, and besides how did you two come together if there was no attraction.

    I must say, staying with her will be the best, because
    1. your kids are going to get some kind of care from her and they wont feel unhappy staying with her
    2. hardly will you get a lady younger than you to cater for your kids and evwn show you true love beause she will address you as “sugar daddy” to her friends.
    you see, if this lady in question has all the qualities you looking for then why dont you try and keep her instead
    stay blessed
    Marry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

  2. Bright Bethwel says:

    Evaluate and weigh these options carefully. That is:
    1.To breakup with her and find another lady who you are intimately attracted to, who might not be as good as she is in terms of handling your children and uo hildsthe qualities of a good wife.

    2.Stay with her, work on your intimacy issue. And love and care for her as she deserves.

    The choice is yours. Just so you know, intimacy is very important in marriage, and so does finding a good woman who will love not only you But also you children who aren’t hers.
    You can’t have a perfect woman. You gotta accept her and learn to live with what you can’t change.
    So if you think she is the best lady for you and you kids, why not out a blind eye to the little fault she has and build a better life together.
    You can also tell her how you feel so she works on herself.


About Relationship Counselor

Love Doctor is a very open minded person. Gives true love advice and states it as it is in order for the person to get the message unadulterated.