Therapist Breaking Up Our Marriage

I think my wife and I would benefit from marriage counseling. We have an autistic child and she and him have been going to a therapist for 6 years. I did not like the therapist and have gone to very few of the sessions. The therapist she and my son see is doing play therapy for his autism. She has been teaching my wife to be an appeasing parent.

Anytime our autistic son has a fit or starts to get upset she jumps in and tries to appease him instead of setting rules and boundaries. This has caused a severe strain on our marriage. This is the main point of contention between the two of us. I would like us to go to marriage counseling and start going to a therapist for our son that both of us can agree upon. My wife says I am trying to manipulate her by putting conditions on going to marriage counseling.

We are probably about 2 weeks away from getting a divorce if we don’t work this out. I am looking for what is best for our child which is to go to a therapist as a family. But I won’t go to the current one. She is refusing to switch therapists. I don’t want a divorce but I will not go to the therapist she is seeing. I see this as she is choosing to stick with her therapist over staying with me. Your thoughts?

Response: Our Marriage is Breaking Up Because of Autism Therapist

The last thing that should happen to your autistic son is a divorce. Do you think getting a divorce is better than your wife appeasing your son? Your wife appeasing your son when he does wrong is bad. Getting a divorce because of this is worse.

You’re torn between two evils. Either get rid of both or stick with the lesser.

Change the therapist if you ain’t comfortable. Go talk to the therapist together with your wife and let her know that her services are over. The therapist can’t be making money off you for 6 years – how long did she attend therapy school?

Find a therapist both your wife and most importantly your son will be comfortable with and move on.

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