Divorce Advice on Mediation, Attorney and Child Custody
So you have married, said for better for worse… until death do us part. And now you want a divorce? Well, we don’t really wish to see a dissolution of marriage, but we also advice not staying in a relationship that will kill you. So before heading to a divorce attorney here are some advice for you or a friend coping with divorce. If you have a personal question please use the “Ask a Question” link on the menu or the form on the side and you’ll get a divorce advice – for free.
Was there even a marriage to begin with?
If your relationship has never been anything more than a couple living together and getting their own needs met then divorce may be the answer. Marriage is a unified coupling of two people who work for the best interest of the relationship. Sometimes you will find both couple going for marriage therapy because they want the relationship to work. This is a sign of two people putting in effort to rekindle their romance life. If there is no couple; only two people fighting for their own needs now would be a good time to either commit to changing the dynamics of the relationship or parting ways.
Are you frustrated and feel that threatening to dissolve your marriage will finally get your spouses attention and they will take you seriously? Well, I’ve got news for you. A divorce lawyer is sitting somewhere seeking for cases to pound on and they will do everything on earth to get your partners attention upon the slightest opportunity. If it is solutions you are looking for, threatening to end the relationship will not get you where you want to be. Our advice is that you need couples therapy for instead. The next time you think you can change your partners attitude by requesting a dissolution, please rather ask your partner in a gentle manner for you both to go for couples therapy. If it is dissolution you want, then stop threatening and take a mature, informed step in the right direction (by the way marriage counselors are cheaper than divorce attorneys )
Do you still have feelings for your spouse?
Have your feelings diminished or, are you feeling powerless over a problems in the relationship and due to this, there is a lack of emotional connection. If there are still feelings of love and affection then you should work on the relationship before deciding to dissolve it. People who still have feelings for their spouses tend opt for legal separation, when all they need is a simple weekend vacation together.
Taking a vacation doesn’t have to be expensive because the most important thing is moving away from home and having a good time. Sometimes simply listening to your partner and doing little things for each other can rekindle the romance.You do not want to get caught up in the emotions of a situation like legal separation and then realize you have made a mistake. If there is any love left, seeking couples therapy will mean not suffering feelings of loss after an un-needed separation.
Are you Afraid and Wondering that things will never get better?
One of most tortuous parts of a failing relationship is the wondering: Are things going to get better? Worse? Are they going to stay the same? Is he (or she) going to change? What about you changing too? Many couples go right to divorce lawyers, because they can’t stand the uncertainty of whether their marriages can bounce back to life. It’s easier for them to choose to break up — and to endure all that pain — than to stay in the situation without a guarantee that things will work out. (This is sort of like refusing a university admission letter because you feel you’re going to fail when you enter.) Yes, deciding to leave ends the worry. And yes, taking that step provides relief. But it’s a distraction-based decision, one that’s not about ending the relationship but about the anxiety over the divorce process. Confronting the possibility that fear is the prime mover in your decision can save you from possible regret.
I want a dissolution of marriage but I am not sure if it is the right decision.
Then don’t do it! Never ever call divorce attorneys until you are 100% sure. The reason is that some divorce attorneys instead of first giving you advice, will worsen the situation by trying to create a feeling that dissolution of your marriage is the right decision – they’re wrong. Since going through a divorce process have effect on the lives of your children and your lifestyle changes, There is pressure to make the right decision. Just ensure that whatever decision you make is not based on ego, but on common sense.
I do not want a dissolution of marriage but my spouse does.
It breaks my heart when I see a person going through the divorce process feeling out of control and helpless. It is not easy to acknowledge and confront the problems in a relationship, especially when you are feeling so hurt by your partner.
But if your partner still insist and leaves so be it. He/she did not deserve you anyway. You’ll gradually get over it, do not worry. The are many programs and people who will be there to show you how to cope with divorce.
What is motivating you to start a divorce process ?
Are you hoping that starting a divorce process will mean your spouse will start treating you better? Maybe they will realize what they have lost and make the changes you need them to make. If so, you are breaking up for the wrong reasons. The divorce process will only promote conflict, not resolve it.
All a dissolution of marriage will do is split apart your family. If you want a change in the dynamics between you and your spouse, it isn’t divorce you want. Something to think about; once you have divorced, your spouse is free to form emotional attachments to others. If there is a feeling of strong jealousy on your part then our divorce advice is that you think twice.
Have you thought about the negative effects of divorcing?
Divorcing with your spouse can mean a loss of dreams and goals. Even if you are positive it is a break up you want, you need to have a support system in place to help you deal with the stress and give you good divorce advice when needed.
You need to be able to face your children’s pain and be there to help them cope. If you are the one starting the divorce process, you will have to deal with the pain of others. Don’t let guilt over wanting a dissolution stand in the way of helping those hurt cope with the divorce.
Are you able to act in a mature way after the divorce process?
Your attitude will determine what kind of life you will have after the dissolution. Will you be happy and let go of any anger? Or, will you remain sad, restless and feel like you’ve been dumped? The behaviour you choose to live with will determine the quality of life you have after the dissolution of marriage.
For divorce advice please contact us and we will give you good advice for free!