Friends with Benefit Relationship
Friends with benefits has been an issue of various public discussions mostly regarding its positivity or negativity in the lives of those who practice it. It’s one of those topics you’d mostly love to hear people comment on but whatever the case may be, how well informed are we all concerning this issue? What does it really entail and just how effective or negative is it empowering most relationships out there in their efforts to thrive….
All these will be dealt with in this article. Just tag along as we progress further into this topic.
Moving on, now what is a ‘Friends with Benefit relationship? From a lay mans perspective, we could say that it’s the kind of intimate relationship practiced between two friends/ people with no strings attached whatsoever. In other words, a relationship in which two consenting adults agree to share physical intimacy together for personal gains, without the inclusion of emotional feelings at whatever point reached. I know most of you out there who aren’t really familiar with this sort of relationship might be wondering how crazy enough people can get in pulling something like this off. But trust me, you’ll get to understand from their perspective as to why they willingly decide engage in something like this. In recent times, relationships have undergone tremendous transformations in their mode of operation as against past times when they were quite monotonous and boring. With the little added spice, more and more people have come to embrace the friends with benefit relationship. Most especially are the youths of modern day times. To them, this mode of dating is less stressful, plus an added advantage of getting to date someone you really like to be with without having to go through all that hurtful format of giving your all and everything hence, having your heart broken at the end of the day. You get to be whoever you want to be irrespective of the other partner being present in your life. Even though building a relationship this way can be fun and adventurous in so many ways, let us look at some ills as well as positives that can be derived either ways in this relationship setting.
PROS OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
- One positive effect derived from this kind of relationship is the fact that it places less pressure on buddies who would wish to be involved in some sort of sexual relationship without having to get all personal at the end of the day. You flow freely with your partner of so many years and don’t really have to worry about the fact that you doing the right or wrong thing. With this kind of relationship, such awkwardness is permissible. You only think of stuff you’d like to do and want to do, prior to being in a straight forwarded relationship where there are often lots of commitments, engagements, what to do’s and have to do’s…..hmmm, a whole lot of frustrating complications if you ask me.
- Also, a friends with benefit relationship has that natural tendency of building ones self- confidence. Pretty much so. It places you in that spot where you feel most confident in really being who you are with your buddy. The fact that you manage to cross all the way into the bedroom goes to show how comfortable you are with your partner, paving the way for a much better sex life. It’s a blend of everything, all rolled up into one if you looking at it from my point of view…., it makes you feel safe with your best pal, comfy around them and to a greater extent, places you in that all good spot of feeling very confident about yourself, who you are and what you stand for. It’s not all about going the conventional way as everybody else. You got to loosen up a bit!
- A friends with benefit relationship further creates a much bigger opening for love to take its natural course in the lives of both partners! Relationships which start off from points where partners neither care for each other nor place any real value or seriousness in the relationship tend to be the ones that fall victim to deeper found love growing between the two in the course of time. Love comes naturally without partners even noticing it, before they say jack….whoa, it’s far too gone now. This can help begin or build a long term bond between partners if they so desire to go the extra mile in their relationship. It’s a stepping stone of some sort, which aid partners in finding the right footing to building a much better and stronger relationship much more than the physical and intimate one they have going or have been accustomed to following as a personal decision.
- Now moving on to some Cons–
CONS OF FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS RELATIONSHIPS
- A Friends with benefit relationship builds confusion within partners when priorities stray off from each other. This is to mean that, a situation could arise where one partner might be seeking more to a relationship than just common sexual or intimate attachments. One person may fall in love genuinely whereas the other might not really be disposed to believing that kind of ‘falling in love’ hocus pocus theory. This can lead to the emanating or purging out of various levels of emotional frustrations which at the end of the day would contribute nothing but break the solid friendship built over the years. It’s virtually a one way ticket to ruining the relationship you have with someone and sending it straight to hell amidst the number of years spent being with the person….who may actually be a best friend or someone you’ve known all your life.
- If you seeking the quickest way to having your heart broken and trampled upon in less than no time…., be sure to participate in a friends- with- benefit relationship. I can’t imagine who would want to be in a relationship just for sexual or intimate benefits and at the same time stand to bear his or her partner frolicking with another person outside of the relationship, and still have the heart to keep mute over it for the mere fact that, there are no strings attached to the relationship. What’s all that about anyway? There’s bound to be some form of jealousy and bitterness occurring at some point in this relationship. As human as we are, in some cases, we would usually not want to even share our personal belongings with others how much more sharing a boyfriend or girlfriend? I find it rather hard to believe that one could really be with someone, not caring about what that person does outside the relationship and not get insecure. There’s a big gap created in this relationship which renders it somewhat unsafe and unadvisable if you are the kind who cannot handle heartaches.
- Most people who practice dating this kind of way are usually seen as somehow awkward and misfits in society, generally speaking. In several countries, this type of relationship is not acceptable and is seen as a form of sexual immorality and a pure lack of dignity on the part of those who practice it. They neither embrace its practice nor accept the reasons why people would decide to date this way. This can be attributed to the fact that, it’s a relationship purely based and defined on sex and intimacy, thus the main focus for one accepting to be in it is to satisfy pleasures and urges that may arise. It neither promises tomorrow nor assures partners of a safe relationship leading into marriage with time approaching and age not being a faithful partner.
- Also in relation with friends with benefit relationships, there exists that lack of commitment exhibited by partners. If even at all there should exist some level of seriousness in any relationship, not with a friends with benefit relationship. Partners tend to assume lackadaisical attitudes and do not often care whatsoever happens in the relationship. Once they manage to get that intimate or physical support they derive from the relationship, nothing else matters. It makes the relationship somewhat uninteresting and one way- directed. There’s absolutely no form of cohesion or syncing when it comes to partners in this relationship, and with this outlook, the relationship is surely doomed for a split in no time soon. A friends with benefit relationship in totality can be practiced if one willingly and truly feels it’s the kind of relationship that meets their required desire and standard. Despite the odds faced dating this kind of way, we’ve at least managed to learn about some few positives which most of you never had any idea of. We all need to be ourselves and find that platform that best defines us. Ideally, one should never have to consider the actions of others when it comes to dating. The perception of others based on how you should leave your personal life should really not affect you. Be in control and let them know who and what you are. A friends-with-benefit relationship is not an evil in all entirety. It just happens that only few people out there are brave enough to want to step out of the conventional ways of dating…., which is somehow interesting. Just be yourself and don’t let anybody get under your skin. You owe it to yourself to have a chance at being happy. No one can do that for you. It depends totally on you.
Written By: Chantelle Iris Nunoo.