How to Break Up
This topic of how to break up is a delicate one and may often at times be quite difficult to undertake when it comes to most people, attesting to the fact that it’s never a thing of great ease to accomplish when deciding to take someone out of your life for good. You all will agree with me that to start dating, through to the point of carefully nurturing it to quite an appreciable level only to discover your heart was never really in it in the first place can be quite difficult to deal with. When it comes to break ups in relationships, several factors may lead to a partner deciding to want out. Factors such as a lack or disinterest in the relationship owing to unwanted situations faced a fading away of the love or affection felt towards a partner, a lack of reason to want to stay by a partner, among other factors mainly constitute some of the reasons for one deciding to end a relationship.
Since not so straightforward or easy in achieving, some people might decide to remain in relationships that aren’t really working, for the reason of hoping things might eventually work itself out one day or in a form of resistance not to hurt their partners. But is it always right to have to sacrifice your happiness at the expense of others? Or should I rather say that it is with a lack of knowledge that people usually carry about issues concerning how to break up and setting oneself free from an estranged relationship that usually keeps them glued even when it’s so glaring they are not happy? The big question confronting you now is how to move on from a relationship if and when you feel it might be time to quit and move on with your life. Now, that’s where I come in to lead you through some possible steps to moving on without having to stress about it. You don’t ever want to leave a relationship feeling somewhat guilty at the end now do you? As important as your freedom away from the relationship matters, so do you have to consider the possibility of playing it safe so you don’t give your partner a break up depression.
To begin with, whenever you feel you might want to take the next available door out of your relationship, probably owing to one or two reasons which don’t ideally favor your interests in the relationship, you have to consider and take into account the feelings of your soon to be ex boyfriend / girlfriend. What this simply implies is that you need to create an environment where you two can get to talk about the breakup and more importantly focusing on the issues that led to you moving on from the relationship. It’s not advisable to deliver the break up message by simply choosing to ignore the feelings of your partner. It’s mostly quite proper to do this personally, when you and your partner get to have that physical contact and both sides get to speak and listen as well as draw conclusions which allow you to move on from the relationship in a civilized manner. Once you’ve gotten to decided to breakup, do not lead your partner on into believing you not really sure of the decision you taking and may possibly want a comeback at the end of the day. It’s not advisable to toil with the feelings of others. Don’t try it. This is the first step of preventing a break up depression!
Also, in the case of a partner refusing to accept the reality of moving on from a relationship, making it so hard or difficult to reach out to in terms of communicating the breakup, there’s the need to use other effective means of breaking up. The use of variant means of communication can be brought into play here. Communication tools like e- mails, phone calls or even text chats can do the trick. It’s appropriate in every sense of the word when and if partners appear to be acting rather reluctant or refusing to accept the terms of the breakup, making it a little bit rather uncomfortable to deal with. It might end up hurting their feelings but they leave you with no much option than to end things in such manner. And believe you me; it’s the only shot you possibly got in setting yourself free from the slavery and torment of an unbearable and unwanted relationship! Most relationship counselors will tell you this is not how to break up, but you’ve got no option left.
Furthermore, in moving on from a relationship, you might want to avoid any conflict or battling of words, much further……., the blame game ideology and a whole lot of negative left overs that wouldn’t do you much good if unsettled with a soon to be ex. You may feel you’ve ended the relationship and is so past that point of ever wanting to have anything to do with your partner, but when you least expect it the past comes confronting you right in the face. It’s advisable to settle any standing issues with a partner before finally calling it off.
Never you walk out of a relationship without giving your partner a good enough reason for doing so. Whatever circumstance leads to the point of moving on from a relationship needs to be known. It’s only fair that you tell them before you dump them so they wouldn’t have to feel all awkward and totally confused about the whole break. You owe it to your partner to bear out some last few words before deciding to finally take off.
There’s also the need to understand that while deciding to breakup with your partner, they might want reasons and explanations to the decision you’ve taken in regards to the relationship. Now, that’s where you come in to do all the explanations they may possibly need. It’s never right to disregard their call and adopt the practice of avoiding them totally and completely. It might be over, yes, but you don’t expect your partner to move on just fine as if nothing ever happened. This again is not the way of moving on from a relationship with someone you once loved! They would still need some time to digest everything happening to them in regards with the relationships. Do not play the game of avoiding your partner even after moving on. Confront them and be ready to give them any answers they require from you breaking up with them. Maturity at its best is seen being displayed here.
The whole process of moving on from a relationship when handled effectively can sail through without having to leave scars between partners going separate ways. The end or success of a break up depends generally on how one approaches the subject. But the whole point is, there’s the need to be certain of one’s decisions before putting them into fruition. Who would want to break up only to realize they made a terrible mistake but too late to go back to into the relationship? You wouldn’t want to get yourself in that spot. Before taking that bold step of wanting to quit a relationship, you need to think it out carefully and ascertain if that’s what you truly want. Let the breakup be a starting point for you to go out there and take up new challenges that strengthen and give you the happiness you never got in the relationship. Your relationship might be over, but you still need some moving on to do. That’s a whole new topic we going to delve into in our upcoming posts. Do watch out for that!
How to Break Up was written By: Chantelle Iris Nunoo.