Signs You’re Heading for Divorce
Relationships when gone sour usually aren’t that easy to mend or better still fix, especially when the couple involved do not have any form of committed efforts directed towards making the relationship better. Sometimes or most often, bringing a relationship that’s gone off track back to what it used to be may not be entirely possible or easy to achieve, but when efforts being made do not yield positive results hoped for, it may be advisable to draw back and let things remain as they are. Pertaining to this, you’d usually hear some couples say that maybe or probably the relationship was just not meant to be, it’s suitably advisable to let go…..,so does this equally apply to even marriages in general. Marriage as we all know is the union between two people who love each other and have agreed or decided to be together, for better or for worse, till death do them part, in sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer and all the accompanying strings that hold their union together. Now, when there’s a breach in the involvement between the two, often at times frustration begins to set in and complacency as well as the need to back out from the union becomes the order of the day.
Divorce comes about when there’s that need to want to quit a marriage relationship often at times owing to various factors that set the two partners apart from each other. It’s usually assumed that when couples involved in a marriage that’s not working right or facing certain challenges, divorce is undoubtedly the best solution and option favorable to both sides as well as ensuring everyone’s freedom and complete peace of mind. But is this assumption entirely true in every sense of the word? Most people aren’t really ready to head for divorce in their lives and as such when the marriage begins to turn sour, they hardly ever even notice the ills of it. Some others may notice though, but may feel pretty much indisposed in doing what’s needed to salvage the situation. Whatever the case may be, you need to focus on the marriage and with precision, be able to tell apart from that which is wrong and not right in the relationship. Below are few pointers noted down that will better inform you of what to expect when a divorce is plunging straight towards your marriage. You’ll normally notice that your marriage is headed for divorce when:
Efforts made to mend or repair the marriage amidst the conflicts and complications that exist, is usually exhibited or carried out by one partner solely without the other partner’s involvement or interest in trying to salvage the marriage sailing on rocky grounds. There’s usually that showcase of the ‘I don’t care’ attitude most often emerging from the part of the partner whose lost any form of hope or trust in the success or rehabilitation of the marriage. By this, there sets in complacency and the normal attitude of opting out for divorce with the least chance gotten as problems keep rising and re-surfacing in the marriage. When this happens, without any restrictions, a hold is placed on the marriage and the tendency of divorce setting in becomes unavoidable as couples involved do not have any form of cohesion or concerted efforts in trying to work towards the betterment of their marriage.
- There’s usually a lack of respect from both partners involved in the marriage. The marriage tends to lack that basic existence of mutual respect and tolerance from the partners and when this happens, discord and lack of understanding is created in the marriage serving as a major loophole and key invitation for Divorce. Now, when there’s the non-existence of basic respect in a relationship even more marriage, which is a much needed tool for the survival of any given relationship, there seizes to exist any form of quality communication, concordance and cordialness in the marriage making it grow sour and extremely unbearable for the partners involved.
- There exists no form of sacrifice or consideration in the marriage when it comes to the feelings, wants and needs of partners involved. In every relationship and marriage in particular, there need to exist that level of consideration when taking certain decisions in regards to areas that are of much greater concern and importance to both partners. Now, when it gets to that point where partners do not regard or make compromises in their decision making towards the marriage and issues surrounding them, a gap is created thus drawing partners further away from themselves. Noticeable attitudes of selfishness are seen being exhibited in the marriage which does not augur well for the marriage in the long run. Decision making involving kids and their upkeep or nurturing, sex, care, affection, among a whole lot needs some level of compromise in order to execute effectively as these areas can conflict with the other partner when decisions are not properly carried out to meet the needs and wants of the other person.
- There seizes to exist any means or level of communication between both partners. With the onset of problems and complications, couples are bound to draw away from each other creating a limitless amount of space between them hence closing all forms of communication needed or relevant in mending and rebuilding the marriage that’s sinking. To every problem faced in every relationship, the central key for solving is constant communication. No problem gets solved by simply ignoring or avoiding……..both couples need to have that attitude of working together using variant means of communication in order to rescue the marriage. Nothing much can be achieved if partners are not willing to communicate frequently and finding best means possible in re-adjusting their marriage, approach to certain situations in the marriage and the problems they face at large. If communication is made to dwindle in the marriage, the possibility of the marriage heading for divorce is inevitable!
- Both partners get disassociated from each other in several areas in regards to the marriage. This is seen being exhibited as couples tend to spend less time at home or with their partners, concentrate more and use work as an excuse to escape from the other person entirely, as well as spending much more quality time with others(friends or acquaintances) aside the one their married to. There’s some form of relief when one is usually not together with the other person and that feeling of losing interest in the marriage comes into play. Both partners become somewhat disengaged and disassociated completely from the marriage and try finding solace in diverse means to putting an end to the union…., thus the emergence of DIVORCE!
Marriage can be sustained depending on one’s level of input in trying to resolve issues and complications associated with it. From the beginning, it might look almost impossible to achieve success towards trying all the means possible in re-building the once happy marriage that’s turned sour. One needs to keep the constant reminder that so long as happy days and fun-filled moments do exist in relationships, the same way marriages too face their own unique hay days and conflicting moments. But no matter the challenges faced, one needs to brace him/herself up and work towards resolving the marriage. Some would prefer to opt out for divorce when marriage reaches that point where it can’t be salvaged. To them, it is undoubtedly the best means to attaining that peace they seek and desire to have owing to the ills suffered in the marriage they find themselves in. But I trust that not every marriage complication demands divorce as the best means of solving. Divorce might work for one complicated marriage, but may not entirely do for the next. It’s entirely dependent on situations faced and at what point or extent brought forth into the marriage. In my opinion, marriage needn’t have to go through the process or extent of facing divorce. When both partners have that concerted connection and view their marriage as being problematic but with the individual assurance that they’ll work together as a team in helping bring the marriage back on its track, divorce is not in any way given the free pass to regulate and be the prime decider for couples much more their children, if any exists in the marriage. You can make your marriage work regardless of the problems faced and get to sail through the stormy seas doing just fine.
Signs You’re Heading for Divorce was written By: Chantelle Iris Nunoo.