When to Get a Divorce
No one ever enters into a relationship, go through the process of courtship, get married and some few years down the line have it at the back of their minds that they want a divorce with no apparent reasons as to why. There always has to be a causative factor or factors pushing one beyond their limits as to accepting the fact that the marriage isn’t really what they thought it out to be. It’s not at all easy having to go through a marriage that’s not really turning out to be what you’d hoped for, and more so reaching that point where you get to decide as to whether it’s time to see that lawyer for a divorce.
However the case, it should be noted that not every marriage is meant to succeed or last till eternity. While others are able to make it through just fine, working out all their differences and coming out of it…others might not find that much luck to that regard.
When a marriage is on the verge of breakup, sometimes one may get to see the signs and opt out of it by getting a divorce. Other times too, one may not be so conscious as to know.
Then comes the million dollar question of the day…., when do you know it’s time to get a divorce? Many people have this problem where they get stuck not knowing what to do, owing to the fact that they hardly notice when it’s time to call it quits in the marriage. Let me take you through some few guidelines or should I rather say hints which could come in handy when you deciding on whether to take that step in your marriage.
The first answer on when to get a divorce:
You know it’s time to get that divorce when you and your partner fall out of place when it comes to your conversations as a couple in a marriage setting. The two of you at this point seem very distant from each other. You hardly ever have any serious conversation concerning your relationship and the way forward. You don’t even want to be together in the same space, and when it gets to those moments where kids are involved and it has to do with both of you coming together as a couple, you try to shy away and avoid each others company completely. The existence of communication, which ought to be the core of every relationship and marriage at large, becomes unavailable and missing in the marriage setting. A red light signalling the marriage might just be over.
The second answer on when to get a divorce: The marriage is constantly noticeable with fights and petty quarrels of which none of you would ever admit being responsible for. Its either you both play the blame game each time and end up having the same fights each and every passing day or you just don’t really meet eye to eye on the very simplest of issues. This can draw you both so widely apart, leaving the marriage hanging on rocks.
Thirdly, you two seem to have fallen out of love. The point where you used to be all over each other, crazy and so helplessly in love with each other, is far gone and none of you even wish to get back into that spot. It seems impossible to stay together when infact you both relate as total strangers in the house. At this point, you know the inevitable, divorce, is the obvious refuge to seek.
You both begin to live your lives as though you were single even as you find yourselves still engraved in the marriage you dread entering. no one cares about the other anymore. Your actions and inactions towards your partner does not seem much of a big deal for you as you tend to live as though you two were already divorced. you just don’t value each others presence and whole existence.
And that all important sign…. when you refuse to let your partner touch you! So true. You would give any and everything not to have him stay in the same bed with you. Not even for a hug or cuddle. it’s at this point that you feel you and your partner do not really sync that well sexually, and nothing whatsoever will give way for the two of you to bond as nan and wife. You just won’t allow it. The love at this point is non-existant and you try as much as possible to put that across to your partner.
Divorce as an end to marriage, can not be said to be an entirely negative issue people should avoid even when they know their marriages aren’t going that great. It’s very dependent on the circumstances faced and the best remedy needed in resolving issues. Some marriages might make it through counselling and survive the divorce entering stages….but not every relationship is successful in achieving this. When you get to see and read all the signs that puts your marriage in the spot where you know it’s just not working out, it’s not evil to want to go in for a divorce. Who says a divorce is an evil in every sense of the word? It’s absolutely not true! Of what benefit would you and your partner gain from a marriage that’s filled with all of the above listed? if divorce is the only way out of a troubled marriage, based on ones physical, emotional and psychological safety….i think opting for it will not constitute a wrong move being made. The decision lies in your hands. It’s your marriage, and you control a greater portion of it. If you want to make it work, the better. But in all this, consider your emotions and happiness in making the right choice. That’s what matters most!
When to Get a Divorce was Written By; Chantelle Iris Nunoo.