Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

If you’ve never been abused before in any relationship, you might be tempted to wonder why certain people find themselves engraved in relationships that are abusive. You most likely would not what victims most likely go through when it comes to breaking free from a relationship that’s abusive. You might think you know much, but I bet you that it’s more complex than you think and even harder on the victims that face this kind of harsh reality. Several factors may account for why women stay in abusive relationships.

Reasons a woman may decide to remain by the side of an abuser is totally different from one woman to the other. While some may prefer not to expose their relationship out there in the open and make it known that they’re facing a problem in that relationship, others will prefer coming out and boldly rejecting such relationships.

why women stay in abusive relationships

Reasons why women stay in abusive relationships

But, no matter the circumstance, women faced with this kind of relationship need all the support, love, and trust they can get from their family and loved ones.

It’s a very difficult period in one’s relationship and awfully a whole lot of drama to deal with. It’s not the time to blame and judge them. For reasons beyond their control, they just can’t make it out of their abusive relationships and that by no means should be used against them.

Several factors account for why women stay in abusive relationships. One may not necessarily understand most of the reasons backing the stay, but several challenges and hitches may dispose one’s continuous stay in that kind of relationship. Let’s take a look at some likely factors/reasons that may account for why women stay in abusive relationships.

One common factor  why women stay in abusive relationship is FEAR.  

Women develop sudden fear towards their partners in relationships that are abusive. This usually arises  as a result of the constant violent threats, battery, physical and sexual torture meted out by the abuser. There’s that fear of leaving even if one desires to. They feel helpless, frightened and hopeless, as there seems to be no way out of this kind of relationship, though they really want to walk out of it and set themselves free.

The second reason why women stay in abusive relationships is falsehood of Love

Some women tend to believe in the falsehood/ lie that an abuse can be equated to love.  They assume that abuse in relationships is a very normal thing and without it a relationship will have no meaning. This is totally wrong! But typical contributing factors which can lead to this kind of assumption is a result of one growing up in an environment where abuse was rampant. Some women witnessed parents abuse one another very often. When this happens, they grow up with the mindset that abuse is indeed a normal thing and should be present in any relationship. This ideology to them is what they believe in and that is what keeps them totally swallowed up in a relationship that’s abusive.

That feeling of low self-esteem is another reason why women stay in abusive relationships.

Low self esteem is experienced by most women who go through abusive relationships. They carry along the weight of guilt and not being worthy of loving. There’s that need to break free and leave the relationship, but one may be faced with certain emotional and psychological confliction as to whether leaving might be the best options for them. That feeling of unworthiness is enough to kill and dampen the spirit of one from setting themselves free and getting out from an abuse. In the end, the drive to leave is slowly dwindled and staying in the relationship now becomes somewhat permanent.


Another reason why women stay in abusive abusive relationships is for the sake of LOVE!

For the sake of the intense love and affection felt towards an abusive partner, a woman may decide to stay in an abusive relationship. There’s that constant hope and faith that the abuser will eventually change from their abusive ways and things might just go back to being normal. Interestingly this is just a delusion as abusers don’t embark on change drives in their relationships. To a woman, it’s not the abusive partner she’s running away from, but the abuse she wants to put an end to. So as much as she’d like to be with that partner, there’s no way she’s quitting the relationship. Not even if she’s hurled to death. This is a stupid reason to stay in an abusive relationship

The popularity of the abuser is another reason why women stay in abusive relationships

A woman can decide to stay in an abusive relationship when the abuser (partner) in question is the popular type. If the abuser is somewhat a ‘celebrity’ or known out there at large, it makes it quite difficult getting to reach out to people and telling them about the abusive nature of that person with them having to believe all what you say about that ‘very recognized and respected person. It can be very difficult getting to let out or portray the real and true nature of an abusive partner especially when out there, he’s everyone’s favorite. For this reason, women often just hush it and continue to stay in that relationship. To them, they’d love to leave the relationship but become incapable of doing so. They quietly bear and go through the abuse in silent without anyone getting to know what they really face.

In a nutshell, being in an abusive relationship is not a thing of joy any woman out there would willingly accept to go through. It’s really dependent on situations and circumstances. About a large percentage of women who go through abusive relationships, never knew their partners were abusive until latter days when it’s evidenced. It starts and builds up in bits and pieces, and when you least expect it you find yourself engraved so much in that relationship you tend to lose absolute control. No one deserves to go through this form of abusive treatment. It’s a very serious issue confronting most relationships these days and victims faced with this kind of relationship often feel helpless and entirely lost within their means to set themselves free from the bondage they face.

But no matter how one views this situation, they can make it out and still get to leave normal lives. Being abused in a relationship is not your fault. You are not to blame for it. It’s an injustice that’s being done to you and you need to break free and rise above the circumstances. Get help and take a stand to stop the abuse. For whatever reasons you decide to stay in an abusive relationship, always bear in mind that it’s for the wrong reasons that you still find yourself in that kind of relationship.

Why women stay in abusive relationships was written by:  Chantelle Iris Nunoo

4 Responses so far.

  1. […] Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships […]

  2. priness says:

    Many stay because of fear, others too stay because of what they think people will say about them if they should leave. But one mistake we always make is listening to the views of others. Make your decision based on your own intuition without any bias or what people will say. We should learn to be ourselves. And one thing is, we can never get everything so easily. Life is full of ups and downs.